Making Resolutions: 2020 Goals
Do you set resolutions when a new year dawns? Most people either love it or hate it. I happen to be in the enthusiastic category. I love the fresh feeling of a new year and relish in the quiet time after the bustle of the holidays to truly reflect on the year gone by. Life settles down for a minute, and that (combined with the inevitable dumping of early January snow) makes for some peaceful moments to assess how the year unfolded.
This past year ushered in a lot of “new” for me. I finished up a job I had worked for seven years. I wrapped up my education. I welcomed my first baby. I moved homes. My understanding of who I am completely turned on its head. I deepend some friendships and I lost some others. I cried more than I probably have in all my previous years combined. I laughed. I felt the deepest depths of love. I started wearing high ponytails. I was incredibly vulnerable with a lot of people. And I somehow made it through.
This year was incredible. It challenged me, it moulded me, and it forced me into a better version of myself. But it also stretched me and poked me and beat me up a little and wore me down and made me realize that I have a deep new sense of responsibility. I now have a daughter (which still blows my mind that I am somebody’s mom) who has little eyes and little ears and a little heart that will be looking at, listening to, and depending on me. Now, more than ever, it is important to me that I invest the time and intention in myself to be the best version of me, not just for me, but also for her.
As you can imagine, this feels heavy. And it felt nearly impossible to lay down some resolutions that felt worthy enough of making such significant and impactful changes in myself. But the more I got to thinking about it, the more I realized that everything I want to improve on in my day to day ultimately breaks down into four main resolutions –
I want to deepen my faith.
I want to feel better in my own skin.
I want to be more present.
I want to foster my passions outside of being a mother.
These are wide, arching resolutions. They sound great but I’m not going to feel a sense of accomplishment in any of them if I don’t break them down a little bit further. These are resolutions, but what follows are a set of actionable goals for each resolution. The actionable goals are a guide to the resolutions and offer a sense of measurement.
I want to deepen my faith. Being a parent is scary as heck and I know that I only made it through this first year by the grace of God. I had moments where I felt the loneliest I have ever felt. I want to deepen my faith so that my default is to call on God, in the good, in the bad, in the ugly, in the angry, in the sad, in the joyful, in the scary, in the hilarious, and in the normal. My actionable goals are:
Pray aloud with my daughter every single day.
Take five minutes to be alone with the word of God every single day.
I want to feel better in my own skin. This one runs so much deeper than feeling confident or looking better or losing weight or working out. This one is about body and mind. Becoming a mom completely rocked my understanding of myself – how I look, how I feel, how I take care of myself, how I think about my body. There’s no doubt that body-image is a hot topic with women, but now especially that I have a daughter, I want her to grow up with a healthy example of how to think about, understand, and treat her body. It’s so important to me that I don’t just talk the talk with her, but that I also model it for her. My actionable goals are:
Move my body three times a week in whatever way possible – walk, cardio, dance, yoga, hiking, playing basketball with Curtis, swimming, whatever!
Cook dinner at home at least four nights a week and eat it as a family at the kitchen table.
Narrow down my personal style and build a wardrobe that focusses on quality over quantity.
Drink five glasses of water a day.
Take the first step to find a therapist to work through my birth experience with.
Eat only one sugary treat a day.
I want to be more present. This one is a result of how I constantly feel pulled between real-life and virtual-life. I’ve always felt a sense of tension with social media (I love and hate it, like so many), but I still spend a discouraging amount of time on Instagram every single day. I want to break that feeling of dependency. But beyond just disconnecting more, this resolution is also about connecting more – in real life. I want to be more present in my relationships and in the time I have with the people around me. My actionable goals are:
Communicate my feelings, my expectations, and my thoughts in a direct manner to my husband. But along with that, ask for forgiveness when I fail or am in the wrong more directly, too.
Set up the daily “Downtime” feature on my phone to limit my use of social and entertainment apps from 6:00 pm to 7:00 am.
Intentionally text a friend (any friend!) once a week just to say hi.
Do anything other than scrolling on my phone in any sort of waiting room setting.
I want to foster my passions outside of being a mother. This one is hard because it goes against everything we subconsciously think we are expected to do once we become mothers. We are taught that we should be self-sacrificing and devote ourselves to our kids, but I’ve come to realize that I can serve my daughter so much better when I have had time to fill my own tank. Being a mother is a huge deal, but it is not the entirety of who I am. One of the responsibilities I take the most seriously in raising my daughter is that I encourage her and enable her to find and flourish in the gifts, talents, and interests that she has been blessed with. I want her to passionately lean into what she has been called to do, and part of doing that is, like I mentioned, modelling that for her. I want her to see me leaning into who I am outside of being her mom. So, with that said, my actionable goals are:
Take a class to develop a new skill. Right now I’m leaning towards woodworking but would also be interested in sewing.
Do crafts and get messy with my daughter.
Write and illustrate a children’s book (even if it only ends up being for us to enjoy).
Learn how to tile our bathroom floor and do it.
Make 15 different cocktails.
With all that said and done, I realize that these are a lot of small actionable goals and I don’t think it possible to fully embrace each and every one immediately with the expectation that they will realistically work. I think I will instead just chip away at them by working on a few new ones each month, with the intention that I have at least made a step in the right direction by the end of the year. The key to embracing resolutions is to simply start somewhere.
I’m already looking forward to this time next year where I will once again be able to reflect on how I’ve grown and look ahead to next steps. There is always room for improvement and that is one of the best feelings. What are some of your resolutions and/or goals for the year? I’d love to hear them below!
Here’s to another beautiful, wonderful, unexpected year ahead. Blessings, friends!
