One Year with Frances
Another blink and our sweet girl is one. Truly. Where did this past year go?
Frances Joy is as sweet as they come. When I was pregnant, we decided that we would name her Frances Grace, but as the pregnancy progressed, it just didn’t quite feel right. One day, I reluctantly brought it up to Curtis that I wasn’t sure about the middle name Grace and he immediately agreed and shared that he was having similar thoughts. I asked what he thought about Joy for her middle name and to my surprise, he said that was the exact name he was thinking about. It was meant to be in more ways than one. I see that moment as a nudge from the Spirit because from the day she was born, we could see that her soul was a joy-filled one. She brings joy to everyone she comes in contact with and she certainly brings joy to our family every day.
Being a mom to two girls has been my life’s greatest blessing. I know that sounds cliche, but I don’t think there is a more accurate way for me to express it. I credit Mabel (my first born) with pushing me out of my comfort zone and into accepting the new life that comes with becoming a mother - a shift that was so necessary and fruitful and blessed, but very uncomfortable and clumsy at times. I credit Frances with pushing me into finding the true joy in motherhood. I now see my role as their mom as not only necessary, but sacred. Not in a conceited, almighty way, but in quite the opposite - it’s a truly humbling and sacrificial calling that I feel blessed to have.
You see a lot of change in one year. At first you’re holding them in your arms as they drift to sleep for a day full of naps and then before you know it, they’re pulling themselves across the floor and tugging on your pant leg. It’s hard to put into words a year’s worth of moments, but I do know that there were many of them. So much work goes into their first year of growth - late nights nursing while the silence of the rest of the house echos around you, reluctantly placing potential allergens on their tiny little tongues and watching with bated breath as you begin introducing foods, and eventually preparing purees or slicing toast into little strips that their pudgy little hands can actually hold. Innumerable diaper changes and three hundred and sixty-five warm baths followed by wrapping them up in cozy little pajamas while you pray for a good night’s rest ahead. Constantly clipping the buckle of their carseat and reading the same little book for the eighth time in an hour and running errands with a backup snack in your purse in case that little sidekick gets just a little impatient. And let’s not forget the multiple kisses you smoosh into their luscious little cheeks each day and then the smile that washes across your face when they finally smoosh one back into your own cheek as a reciprocal expression of love. The entire year is made up of tiny, seemingly insignificant moments that form the first year of their precious little life. And before you know it, you’ve blinked and they’re a year old.
Frances really just slipped into our family. I’ve heard some people remark that the transition from one to two kids is rough, but thankfully for us, it was natural and seamless. There were certainly a handful of difficult moments, but for the most part, her presence rounds us out. She brings a sense of contentedness and calm. She fills the room with joyful babbles and inevitably makes us all break out in laughter, even in the most ill-timed circumstances. She is curious, yet unfazed. Patient, yet determined. Funny, but sweeter than honey. She blows a handful of kisses and puts her little finger on her mouth to shush along with the teddy bear song and literally turns and says cheese when you hold up your camera. (I’m telling the honest truth. She’s only one and already says a few words, like cheese, hi, and Dada, all clear as day). She leans in to rest her head against yours when you look in a mirror together. She sings along when we play music in the truck. And she is determined to use her own fork at dinner. She fits so perfectly in our family and I couldn’t have imagined her any other way.
When you have a second child, all your insecurities bubble to the surface about whether you could ever love another human as much as you love your first. I distinctly remember looking down at my rounded pregnant belly and questioning if I’d have enough love in me for this baby too. Obviously I knew I would, but it was still hard to imagine how I could manage evenly splitting my love pie between my two precious babies. But what I quickly realized is that with each new child, you get a whole new love pie and you don’t have to lessen the portions - they grow! Yes, my attention may be split, but my love? There’s definitely plenty of that to go around.
My first daughter, Mabel, is a lot like me. For better or worse, we have very similar personalities. But Frances is quite different than me. It’s been fun getting to know her and learning how to best care for her. When I look back at this past year, I think of the fact that she’s my little buddy, running daily errands and tagging along to Mabel’s activities. Sometimes I forget that she’s her own little person and am surprised when she does something new or adds a babble to the family conversation. I love seeing her express herself and explore her curiosities and move around the room and insert herself into the all-too-comfortable dynamic of our family structure. It’s a reminder to me that we all have a place in this world and we all have value. She’ll always be a part of this family and be valued for exactly who she is. I can’t wait to keep learning who that is.
With this official shift from counting monthly milestones to yearly ones, I just want to say this: Frances Joy, you are as sweet as they come. We’re proud to be your parents, not because of what you do, but because you are simply you and you are simply ours. We can only imagine what light you will bring to this world and pray everyday that you will have the confidence and will to shine it. Happy First Birthday, sweet girl.
